Update: Submerged In Business and Trying To Find A Balance

As I look around the room I see supplies. Bags, tissue paper, cardboard boxes, large scale printer, home office printer, a table meant for craft shows and farmer’s markets, a mug press, cutting machine, the list goes on. The objects around me now start to crowd my once cozy living space. I once again have half of my life’s belonging’s dedicated to business paraphernalia. 

I remember packing up my old business supplies back in 2016 for storage, wondering when I was going to open them back up again. I knew I would at some point, which is why I held onto them, but wasn’t sure where they would fit in my life. It felt like a relief to have just my own personal things and not have so many tools and objects dedicated for business. It was then, as I was packing things away all those years ago that I realized how heavily my life was involved in being a small business owner. It was such a big part of my life and how I identified, even though I wasn’t bold and shameless about it.

If you think about it, one of the first questions people ask when they first meet you is, “What do you do?”. I always disliked that question, having to put myself in a box to help another person “figure me out”.

I never felt confident answering it either. Maybe it’s because I’m still figuring things out. When I was getting more involved in TV and film production about 5-6 years ago I had business cards written up titled, “Media Lover Something-or-Other”. Yup. I actually had that emblazoned across the top of my business cards to sell myself as a media person. Even then I wasn’t quite sure what that even was. I was into production and behind the camera jobs, but I was always a theatre and on camera kid, and I was interested in acting and latterly on-camera hosting. At one point I even wrote the beginnings of a script that I never published. I engulfed myself in learning all that I could, and wanting to work in all facets of production. Even though I didn’t keep inventory of objects in this case, what I ultimately sold was myself. In this product based business I am back in again, you need products. Supplies and lots of them if you want to operate in a handmade aspect. So once again I’m back to being engulfed, and my living space and working space merge into one.

This time around I hope to have some constraint though. To have more balance. And yet, my phone has about 4 apps just for work that I spend nearly all my time on. Or I’m writing a blog post, email, instagram post, or processing orders, actually making the things, taking a class, watching a presentation, taking photographs, editing said photographs, creating graphics, shooting and editing videos, designing new products, reaching out to partners, finance…the list, once again, goes on. It’s a lot. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And still at the end of the day I don’t feel like I have accomplished enough. There’s always something more I could be doing, more people to reach, ways to improve. It’s exhausting to even think about but in the best way. I don’t feel drained at the end of the day but rather proud and accomplished. At the end of the day something was done. Something was made. Each thing thoughtfully put together from a place of wholeness. That’s what matters.

But I still need to work on balance. On being impactful with my work and also re-energizing during my downtime. Creating that separation without guilt and also creating boundaries. If you have any words of advice please leave them in the comments below, send an email, or connect on social. I mean, that’s what instagram is all about right? Connecting and being social :)